Out of Quarantine and into Self Isolation

Jan Miller | May 13, 2020

We arrive home to quarantine for fourteen days. It’s not too much hardship as family have stocked our home with the basics. The neighbours offer to pick up anything we need. We can order groceries locally, and volunteers deliver. We watch the news about a country where people are beaten who ignore quarantine orders. We’re grateful that our community uses kindness and support. We have no desire to stick our heads out our door.

The ice goes out of the lake, the muskrats and loons return. Our resilient daffodils and hyacinths emerge amidst snow flurries. Yes, we’re back home in Canada and grateful for it.

We’ve been away two and half months and adjusted to a different living space. Now we start over trying to find things. I tell Dick it’s an excellent exercise for our senior brains. He’s dubious, and being a curmudgeon, says frequently, “Where did you put it?”

As our quarantine comes to an end, we make a list of a places to go in Kingston. The day arrives and before we leave, we sit with our coffee and watch the news. This is our daily “rally round the flag” event. As we listen to the statistics about the number of cases doubling every couple of days and hear the familiar refrain of “stay home,” we look at each other and tear up our list.

I am a rule follower. It isn’t that I never break the rules but I do so after careful consideration of the potential consequences and how I’ll save myself if I get caught. Dick is the opposite, a rule bender. He only follows dictates after careful consideration to see if they make sense to him, and make his life easier. I envision the amount of discussion it would take to navigate through the many directives I’m hearing about just to get in, through, and out of a store. I don’t think it would be a worth it. So, instead we do a curbside pick-up in Verona. I leave Dick in the car.

What has changed? Not much, except a mind-set. I have posted a quote in my kitchen by anthropologist Carlos Castaneda: “We either make ourselves miserable or we make ourselves happy. The amount of work is the same.” Dick is not unhappy being a curmudgeon. It’s a role like those he plays in theatre. Some folks enjoy complaining and talking about the drama of life. Not me. I start to wonder how we make ourselves happy in the face of this pandemic. According to my quote it’s about choice, and where we put our attention.

I’m curious how people are thinking now. I decide to ask. I explain to my grandchildren that there’s an upside and a downside to everything, and ask what’s their upside. The children without fail say it’s having family time, playing games, taking walks together, planning and helping prepare food, and even group projects that they work on together. The teenager says getting up when he’s ready instead of following the bus schedule is his silver lining. Time has slowed down. They don’t mind.

Older adults say that witnessing the plight of other people is making them more empathetic. Food-service providers and volunteers tell me customers are more understanding and appreciative, less judgemental, and more generous with those in need. Our Community Cupboards thrive. I certainly cherish those volunteers who show up at our door so we have food, medication, and mail. They drop off the parcel, step back and when we come out, ask how we’re doing.

“I’m back to homesteading,” one woman tells me. “I’m so creative in my kitchen. It is very satisfying. I understand how it was a labour of love for those pioneer women.” Who knew with all our prepared foods? “I’m enjoying chatting with my adult children on the phone,” another says. “Few people are going anywhere. Time is no longer an issue.”

We’ve been home six weeks now and it’s time to go out while we still remember our social skills. Dick says that he notices people are not so busy, which makes them more caring. He sees little acts of kindness all around. I think I’ll take him shopping. His perspective may help me take my eyes off the arrows and footprints on the floor, and not worry so much about getting it right. And I’ll keep him from sailing upstream against the flow in the aisles. We are a good team at times.