Iguanas Don't Have Quills

The porcupine proposal described in the March 30 edition of TFN is simply quite asinine.

The township council should change their name to Stoned Miller for obviously some logic altering product was in play.

It is a well documented fact that the Giant Green Iguana (genus Loof Lirpa) would be much better suited for the roadside clearance project. Consider this:

Fact - The GGI can consume four times it's weight in a single day.

Fact - The average weight of a GGI is over 100 kg. Do the math.

Fact - GGI's do NOT eat deciduous trees. Ergo the Sugar Maples remain untouched.

Fact - Although GGI's have a genetic tendency to chase down anything moving (bicycles, joggers, Smart cars) they seldom actually bite.

The GGI is a burrowing mammal remaining underground from November to beginning of April reducing the cost of feeding it. 

If Spring weather arrives there is a good chance a GGI will be available for viewing and petting at the Perth Road Maple Syrup Festival  Saturday, April 8th. 8:30am – 2pm

Fredrick von Doozlehauser