Grief Is Like The Hum Of Cicadas In July Heat

Jemma Dooreleyers | Jul 31, 2024

It doesn’t matter if the day is beautiful and the lake is fresh or friends are coming over for a BBQ on the back deck, the buzz of grief will always be there. Sometimes it can be background noise, blending with the radio and a neighbour’s lawn mower. Sometimes it can be the only thing you hear.

Much like the winter holiday season, the summer can be an especially tough time for people grieving the loss of a loved one, so on Saturday, July 11, Southern Frontenac Community Services hosted a Butterfly Release Ceremony.

A tradition that SFCS began during the COVID pandemic to memorialize all of the loss during that time, according to Katie Buckley, hospice care coordinator and host of the Butterfly Release, SFCS wanted to give people in the community a space to honour their loved ones who have died in a meaningful ceremony.

“We have suffered many devastating and tragic losses in our community and this is a way to make a sacred space to feel and honour the immense losses we have all suffered,” she said.

In many cultures, butterflies are believed to symbolize the transition between life and death, as well as a token of lightness, joy, and freedom. In some Indigenous traditions, the butterfly represents the soul of a deceased loved one coming to visit their family on Earth. Attending a butterfly release can provide a sense of peace or a feeling of connection with a loved one who has died.

“Butterflies are a beautiful symbol and metaphor for the transitions the dying and bereaved go through,” said Buckley. “Watching them take flight can be a meaningful image to comfort those experiencing unimaginable loss.”

The event began with a small speech by Buckley and a reading given by Susan Ward-Moser. As painted-lady butterflies were passed out to the 90 participants in small envelopes, the attendees were encouraged to find a space they felt was a special place to have a quiet moment with their butterflies before they removed them from their envelopes and released them. While instrumental music played, some people migrated towards the gardens, while some people found a space by the open fields at the back of the property.

Some people went off by themselves, some gathered around their butterflies with their families, some took photos, some whispered messages, and some simply held the butterfly in their hand and watched until it was ready to take flight. While each group and individual went about releasing their butterfly differently, the paradox of grief - that it can be deeply personal, unique and lonely as well as something that is felt universally - became apparent.

Living in a rural community, especially one that focuses on recreation and summer fun, grief can feel isolating. Events like the butterfly release put on by SFCS act as a way to mitigate these feelings of loneliness.

“Doing an event like this in a rural community creates more accessibility to gatherings for those who may be more isolated in their rural homes,” said Buckley.

After the butterflies were released, many could be seen flitting around the property while guests mingled, ate refreshments and used the Wind Phone - an old telephone that is not connected to anything for people to sit and have a moment to connect with their loved one.

For more information on the support Southern Frontenac Community Services provides visit their website, SFCSC.ca